It seems to me that the idea of what ‘chivalry’ is; is misunderstood. Some sources say it is a code of honor and ethics followed by knights during Medieval Times. Other sources say it is and guide for how men should treat women in general or the particular woman they are in a relationship with. Some simply believe it is a dead ideal.
It seems appropriate to say that acting in a chivalrous manner is a tradition, but with time all traditions change. When people think of chivalry they all have clear ideas of what chivalry is and what it isn’t. Some believe it still exists while others believe it is a dead tradition. Chivalry doesn’t seem like the right word to use anymore. While it is important to encourage both sexual restraints and service of men on behalf of women it is also reasonable to have similar restraints toward men. There are many possible causes for the ‘death’ of the chivalrous manner, while women fought for their rights there was also a sexual revolution. Chivalry whether it is dead or alive isn’t what it was once thought to be, because women are so concerned with their rights they also don’t hold men to standards necessary for men to treat them in a gentlemanly manner because they are scared of how the way men treat them will affect the way they are perceived or respected.
The matter isn’t that women don’t want to be whisked away or carried through the threshold of their new door with their new husband. Women don’t want this treatment thought of as lesser or disrespected for being treated that they are special. Chivalry has become a mind frame and a thought rather than a way of acting in a relationship. There should be give and take in a relationship and both members should respect the other equally. If carrying his new wife over the threshold of their door is a man’s way of showing compassion and respect then women should have the opportunity to display their affections in a similar manner without conforming to the stereotype of what a wife is and should do.
Chivalry shouldn’t be considered a tradition of how a man should treat a woman, but rather a give and take form of respect for yourself and your partner or yourself and the people around you.
Women can often feel like they are in an uncomfortable position when a man shows them respect. Women enjoy attention but they often feel uncomfortable by the attention they are receiving. There is a general scare factor between men and women, because women know that most men have the physical ability to overpower them. While holding a door is not meant to be threatening or even meant to be an innuendo it can often make women feel uncomfortable. There are distinct sexual differences between men and women codes of respect need to be gender specific rather than gender neutral because of the differences between men and women Feminism isn’t about denying differences it is about gaining rights and respect for what women are and the place they should hold in society.
We no longer live in a time of knights and maidens, chivalry has changed and so has feminism, women demand respect and rights and men feel threatened to offend women or come across as dominate when women fought so hard to gain the rights we now enjoy. There should be a code of mutual respect between men and women and respect should be mutual and something shared between the sexes.
http://jade.ccccd.edu/jmiller/A_Return_to_Chivalry.htm, ‘A Return to Chivalry’, Terrence Moore. Published in “On Principal, Volume 9, number 4: August 2001. Accessed on April 8, 2008
2 comments:
Okay, Cammie. I like your topic. My suggestion is to present a way for men to be chivalrous, and women to still feel respected. It would be interesting to see it like a list one might find in Cosmo, if you want. If not, you do it how you want. Just a suggestion.
I encourage you to have solid evidence to support your argument. It needs to be more than opinion. You could interview people, find traditional sources, etc; but your final post/draft must have supporting evidence.
Hi Cammie! I just posted a rebuttal to your brief as a new post on my blog. It's decently long, so I figured it would be easier to do it that way than to leave it as a comment on here. Anyways, I like the ideas you have about how men and women should discuss how to treat each other. I completely agree with that; on Friday, when we get together, we need to work on how they should discuss it, specifically which roles should be covered and how traditional they want the relationship to be. Chivalry has evolved through the centuries, especially with the success of feminist ideals, and these factors should be taken into consideration, along with traditional gender roles, so as to keep up with modern times and reduce the risk of offending women through what are meant only to be polite actions. This is a fun topic, and I'm looking forward to completing our brief! :)
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